Lyrics

(My Hand Is) Prettier Than You

Sitting at the bar alone, drinking a beer
You slid up beside me and you yelled in my ear
You said I couldn’t buy you for the price of a drink
I hadn’t said a thing to you baby
You said you and your sister go to bars every night
You know what I’m thinking, cause you just know my type
The type to getcha tipsy just to get in your pants
You said it’s me and my hand tonight
I don’t know whatever made you think I was trying to buy you any drink
You say it’s just me and my hand tonight that’s true. What else should I do?

CHORUS
My hand is prettier than you, prettier than you, prettier than you
You and your sister, prettier than you, prettier than you, prettier than you
You and your boob sweat, baby yeah. Boob sweat. Too wet. Onset, shit breath
(You and your fart cloud, baby yeah. Fart cloud. Queef proud. How now, brown cow?)
(You and your ringworm, baby, yeah)

At this point I’d imagined you would say go to hell
But you just stood beside me like a pile of smell
And told me I’d be sorry for the things I said when I was sleeping alone in my bed
You told me that your cooter’s like a pipe full of meth
People hit it once and then they want it again
Because they get addicted when they get a taste, most end up with sores on their face
I don’t know why you keep saying things, ‘cause I ain’t trying to buy you any drink
You say it’s just me and my hand tonight, that’s true. What else should I do?
(REPEAT CHORUS)

Five years later on I went and made you my wife
Having ugly kids and living our ugly life
You ain’t much to look at babe but I can’t lie, I ain’t much of a prize either, baby
Five years later on I’m proud to sing, I still ain’t ever bought you any drink
And yeah it’s still me and my hand at night, that’s true. What else should I do?
(REPEAT CHORUS)

Na na nana na nana na na. Rug burn, bad perm
Na na nana na nana na na. Scabies, gunt cheese
My hand is prettier than you.

Words and music copyright 2024 by the HELLROYS.