Lyrics

My Hand Is Prettier Than You

V1
Sitting at the bar alone, drinking my beer
You slid up beside me and you yelled in my ear
You said I couldn’t buy you for the price of a drink
I hadn’t said a thing to you baby

You said you and your sister go to bars every night
And you know what I’m thinking, cause you just know my type
The type to getcha tipsy just to get in yer pants
You said it’s me and my hand tonight

I don’t know whatever made you think
I was trying to buy you any drink
You say it’s just me and my hand tonight
And that’s true. What else should I do?

CHORUS
My hand is prettier than you
Prettier than you - prettier than you
You and your sister
Prettier than you - prettier than you
You and your tit sweat, baby yeah
Tit sweat, thick neck, onset, shit breath

V2
At this point I’d imagined you would say go to hell
But you just stayed beside me like a pile of smell
And told me I’d be sorry for the things I said
While I’m sleeping alone in my bed
You told me that your cooter’s like pipe full of meth
People hit it once and then they want it again
‘Cause they get addicted once they get a taste
Most end up with sores on their face

I don’t know why you keep saying things
I ain’t gonna buy you any drink
You say it’s just me and my hand tonight
And that’s true. What else should I do?

(REPEAT CHORUS)
You and your fart cloud baby yeah
Fart cloud. Queef proud. How now, brown cow?

V3
Five years later on I went and made you my wife
Having ugly kids and living our ugly life
You ain’t much to look at babe but I can’t lie
I ain’t much of a prize either, baby
Five years later on I’m proud to sing
Still ain’t ever bought you any drink
And yeah it’s still me and my hand at night
That’s true. What else should I do?

(REPEAT CHORUS)
You and your ringworm, baby, yeah

<SOLO>

Na na na na na na na na na na
Rug burn, bad perm
Scabies, gunt cheese
My hand is prettier than you